Life isn’t about how many people call you and it’s not about who you’ve dated, are dating, or haven’t dated at all. It’s not about grades, money, clothes, or colleges that accept you or not. Life isn’t about if you have lots of friends, or if you are alone, and it’s not about how accepted or unaccepted you are. Life just isn’t about that. But life is about who you love and who you hurt. It’s about how you feel about yourself. It’s about trust, happiness, and compassion. It’s about sticking up for your friends and replacing inner hate with love. Life is about avoiding jealousy, overcoming ignorance, and building confidence. It’s about what you say and what you mean. It’s about seeing people for who they are and not for what they have. Most of all, it’s about living your life to touch someone else’s.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Best post i've ever seen: Dear Broken Hearted Fools
I have something to tell you. I may not know you, I may not even know what’s going on with your love life or why you’re broken hearted, but let me remind you of a few things. You’re probably disappointed in yourself. You’re probably sad. You’re probably hurting like hell. You probably lost yourself and no longer know who you are. You probably feel confused and shitty. You probably feel like you’re not worthy or not good enough for whoever it is. You’re probably feeling all these negativity hit you in the head and letting it eat you alive. Let me tell you something. You’re wrong more than 90% of the time.
You have to remember your own self-worth. Don’t ever let anyone put you down for that matter or any reasons. No matter how much they mean to you, your self-worth is better than theirs right now. They’re probably okay while you’re breaking into pieces. You have to remember that you are good enough for someone else if they don’t see that. They’re losing something precious and can’t see the goodness in front of them. It’s their loss, not yours.
You have to also remember that you’re a beautiful person inside and out. You’ll feel these type of emotions that you don’t deserve. Although, you’ll get stronger. You’ll learn. You’ll get better. I don’t promise soon, but if you’re really trying, then later. You will. You’ll become a better person you are right now. Just don’t ever forget that you’re beautiful and that you’re worthy because these are my simple reminders for you.
You have to remember your own self-worth. Don’t ever let anyone put you down for that matter or any reasons. No matter how much they mean to you, your self-worth is better than theirs right now. They’re probably okay while you’re breaking into pieces. You have to remember that you are good enough for someone else if they don’t see that. They’re losing something precious and can’t see the goodness in front of them. It’s their loss, not yours.
You have to also remember that you’re a beautiful person inside and out. You’ll feel these type of emotions that you don’t deserve. Although, you’ll get stronger. You’ll learn. You’ll get better. I don’t promise soon, but if you’re really trying, then later. You will. You’ll become a better person you are right now. Just don’t ever forget that you’re beautiful and that you’re worthy because these are my simple reminders for you.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
My sincerest apologies to ______________,
I never meant to confuse you or become a burden. I just wanted you to know how I truly felt. Little did I know, you had an outside source who had already told you. don’t listen to outside sources if you don’t know the facts are absolutely true. Haha for all you know, the main subject could have lied to the outside source, hence the situation we’re in now. I know what your choice will probably be, and I can accept that but at least I told you. if you do ever read any of this, I’m sorry for causing you so much trouble. I really do like you, I’m just not as forward as my competition. I’m really regretting telling your source I was over you though, because we could have skipped all this confusion and been further along in this triangle. Heck, there might not have even been a triangle, but whatever. What’s done is done, and now it’s time to move forward. I’m ready, always have been, to make this work. Whatever your choice, I’ll support you fully. Thanks for the heads up about possibly hurting me, but my motto is nothing comes easy. If you want something to work, you have to put your heart into it, even if might mean your heart getting hurt in the process. Some things are meant to be broken so they can fixed up better than before. So now after my confession, my apology, and my promise, I only have one question for you. with all of this newfound information, what’s your verdict?
To the Love of My Life 9
January 18, 2011
To the love of my life,
Well that all came as a shock to me. I’m glad I finally got that off my chest but I still feel kind of guilty now. I didn’t mean to add something else to your long list of worries and life altering situations. I actually smiled when I saw that you just didn’t want to lead me on until you were sure. Word to the wise, just ask me. Cause' chances are, if you’re using a third party source, their information might not be up to date. I’ll have to consult with your source however. But everything’s all-good now. Sorry to confuse you even more, but take your time in deciding. I mean it’s a choice between two girls who you’ve known for pretty much an equal amount of time, give, or take a few years. So it’s not as if it’s an easy choice. I just feel guilty that I’m doing this to my best friend/sister. Whatever you decide, I’m sure we’ll be okay with it. I wish I could just talk to her about this but I can’t without it being awkward so I’ll just wait for your answer. If we even, get one. I love you!! And now I’ve finally told you! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Sunday, January 16, 2011
To the Love of My Life 8
January 16, 2011
To the love of my life,
I guess I can’t stop you from pursuing your dream, and since she loves you back, it’s not a problem. I just wish you would have opened your eyes for two seconds. I guess some things just can’t be helped. Some are meant to be and some aren’t. C’est la vie! I’m not sure if I can say that I’ll move on for sometime. But I’m still hoping that you’ll wake up, even just for a little to see that there’s more out there. But if you do start going out, I won’t try to come between you or go after you as soon as you break up. I might miss you, but I won’t break girl code for this. Until I get a full on rejection however, or until I know it’s official, I will keep trying…even if you don’t notice my advances and treat them like friendly conversation. :/ I love you!! That’s all I want to say <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Friday, January 14, 2011
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Our Horoscopes are all WRONG!!!!!
New Zodiac Sign! Meet Ophiuchus
Oh crap! So are everyones astrological tattoos wrong? The field of astrology, which is concerned with horoscopes and the like, felt a major disruption from astronomers, who are concerned with actual stars and planets. The astronomers from the Minnesota Planetarium Society found that because of the moon’s gravitational pull on Earth, the alignment of the stars was pushed by about a month.
According to the Minnesota Planetarium Society, here is where the real signs of the Zodiac should fall. Get ready for your world to change forever.
Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Nonexistent Boys vs. Real ones
Depression hurts; Cymbalta can help. Sorry I just find that opening to their commercial extremely funny. Okay so you guys know how I said I have a tendency to fall in love with nonexistent boys? Yeah the reason for that is because they can’t break your heart. You can imagine them to do whatever, and they won’t disappoint you. They’ll be your knight in shining armor without all of the hassle of trying to make them like that.
But, unlike nonexistent boys, real boys are touchable and just within reach. However, they also know what to say to break your heart, make you melt, and convince you of anything. While nonexistent boys are safer, they can’t truly make you happy. But then again, no one can do that but you.
Sorry for all this random nonsense. It’s just, today I had a girl’s night in with my friends. One of my closest friends got a text from this guy. Before my other friend handed her the phone, I caught a glimpse of the name and realized it was from the guy I liked. I looked at the length of their messages in that short glance and noticed they were at least 3 pages long each. I know he likes her and I know he was never mine to begin with but it still hurts when I see that ya know. I text him and he gives me three word replies. She texts him and she gets 3 pages!! How is that supposed to make me feel?
But, unlike nonexistent boys, real boys are touchable and just within reach. However, they also know what to say to break your heart, make you melt, and convince you of anything. While nonexistent boys are safer, they can’t truly make you happy. But then again, no one can do that but you.
Sorry for all this random nonsense. It’s just, today I had a girl’s night in with my friends. One of my closest friends got a text from this guy. Before my other friend handed her the phone, I caught a glimpse of the name and realized it was from the guy I liked. I looked at the length of their messages in that short glance and noticed they were at least 3 pages long each. I know he likes her and I know he was never mine to begin with but it still hurts when I see that ya know. I text him and he gives me three word replies. She texts him and she gets 3 pages!! How is that supposed to make me feel?
Thursday, January 6, 2011
DONE!!
okay i'm finally done updating and transferring. now to go my find my friends and follow them!!! woo
Battling My Own Demons
So I’m battling my own demons but until I can find trust and peace of mind, I’m gonna be miserable for a lot longer and it doesn’t feel to hot. I literally feel like my heart has broken. Not Bella status but close to it. And the sad thing is I have no clue why this is hurting me so much but it is.
So I finally listened to the rest of Ke$ha’s album Cannibal. I found the one song that I can totally relate to right now. The Harold Song explains exactly how I’m feeling right now. Ke$ha discusses how her true love has left and it feels like young love’s murder. My favorite line from the song is “In the limelight I play it off fine but I can’t handle it when I turn off my night light. They say that true love hurts well this could almost kill me; young love murder that is what this must be. I would give it all to not be sleeping alone.” This verse and chorus hit me hard because it’s completely true. I never thought I could get depressed. The cheerful, laughing girl can’t get depressed right? Wrong.
When you have time to think alone, you realize all the problems in your life. You learn the meaning of why you lash out at your parents, and why you feel suddenly distanced from your friends. The silence, where it may be scary and isolated, lets you truly think and analyze a lot. Without that silence, you might live your life as a lie. But hey, at least you’ll be happy and fake. No one has that “bundles of joy” life. The one where you put everything aside and leave it all behind you. No one can do that. At least once, in your life you’ll stay stuck in the past. You’ll dwindle on something depressing and realize not everything is a bundle of joy. You’ll finally wake up and see the world as it truly is. Sad and hurtful.
Before I went on vacation I read a book called The Awakening. It was about a woman who realized the marriage she was in wasn’t a happy one and she couldn’t raise her children properly. She had a few affairs and eventually killed herself. But not before she woke up and realized that, her life was a lie. She didn’t marry out of love and she would never make a good mother. She was happy just being herself. That book helped me to have my own awakening these few weeks. I’ve finally realized the meaning of my tense relationship with my parents; and why I talk to my friends and feel like I don’t know them anymore. My best friend and I tell each other everything and I don’t even feel close enough to her anymore. The reasoning? I’m not happy. I’m miserable and I had no clue why until now. I might have a lot of friends and a family who love me to death but I still feel alone. I’m not connected to the people around me. I feel like they’re just people who could leave any second and I’d still be on my own. Now I know this has probably been building up a lot over the years but it’s finally occurred to me. I’ve had friends abandon me before and my family tends to say things that make it seem like it wouldn’t even matter if I were there.
Isolation
I was standing in my kitchen no less than five minutes ago and I realized how truly alone I felt. Movies and books prep every girl for love. Most say you’ll find it in high school. I’d like to know when because it wasn’t in 9th grade or 10th grade and I have no hope for 11th. Is it in 12th? Does it really take that long for a girl to find her first love? Most girls dream of what their prom dresses and wedding gowns will look like; but what if you never get to wear them? I know the guy I like will probably end up asking one of my best friends, two of my friends have boyfriends, and my other friends have a few guy friends they can ask to take them to prom. But what about me?
God put us on this earth with a perfect other half, but he put us on opposite sides of the world so we would have to find each other. But what if your other half doesn’t find you. What if your perfect half is married, with two kids, and thinks that the person they’re with is their soul mate. Then what do you do? I mean can the other half be happy if his or her soul mate is with someone else? Or are they destined to live a solitary life? I mean sure they can settle, but will they ever truly be happy?
My bestest friend in the whole world is about to start a relationship with a guy that I think is perfect for her. I seriously think she’s found her soul mate, not a fake, but the real one. But, what I’ve noticed, is that neither one of them realizes it. Is that the problem? Do true, god chosen, soul mates find each other, but not notice it until the relationship is over? Is that why there are lonely halves out there, waiting? Because they found their soul mate but never, realized it? If that’s the case then we as humans will lead very depressing lives.
Sorry for this random sappy moment, but this is what happens when you stand in the middle of your kitchen, in the dark, and slowly feel the silence creep in. no cell phones going off with text messages from lovers, no phones ringing from secret lovers in the middle of the night. Just…silence. I think P!nk was right in saying “the silence scares me ‘cause it screams the truth.”
God put us on this earth with a perfect other half, but he put us on opposite sides of the world so we would have to find each other. But what if your other half doesn’t find you. What if your perfect half is married, with two kids, and thinks that the person they’re with is their soul mate. Then what do you do? I mean can the other half be happy if his or her soul mate is with someone else? Or are they destined to live a solitary life? I mean sure they can settle, but will they ever truly be happy?
My bestest friend in the whole world is about to start a relationship with a guy that I think is perfect for her. I seriously think she’s found her soul mate, not a fake, but the real one. But, what I’ve noticed, is that neither one of them realizes it. Is that the problem? Do true, god chosen, soul mates find each other, but not notice it until the relationship is over? Is that why there are lonely halves out there, waiting? Because they found their soul mate but never, realized it? If that’s the case then we as humans will lead very depressing lives.
Sorry for this random sappy moment, but this is what happens when you stand in the middle of your kitchen, in the dark, and slowly feel the silence creep in. no cell phones going off with text messages from lovers, no phones ringing from secret lovers in the middle of the night. Just…silence. I think P!nk was right in saying “the silence scares me ‘cause it screams the truth.”
To the Love of My Life 7
December 19, 2010
To the love of my life,
I can’t do this anymore. No matter how much I try, every chance I can’t see you or I think about you my heart tugs. I’ve been slowly trying to patch up the tear in my heart but it’s not working. I can’t get you out of my head. You’re all I can ever think about and all I ever want. When you change your relationship statuses and post statuses about your friends that are romantic, my heart breaks just a little. I just want you to be mine. I want your relationship changes to be for me, and your statuses to be about me. I miss you and I hope we can patch things up between us. I love you again!! That’s all I want to say <#3 <#3 <#3 <#3 <#3 <#3 <#3
To the Love of My Life 6
December 7, 2010
To the love of my life,
I’ve finally gotten over you. And I’m happy to say that I’m proud that I’ve moved on. You were messing with my head and my heart and I got stuck in a dark void of rejection and unimportance. I would still love to be your friend, but I think we should distance ourselves for a while. No more liking each other’s statuses and being each other’s top fans. I still love you as a friend but that’s it. I’m through and I’m alive again. I have had my own awakening. Whether you know or not, this was a mutual breakup and I hope you understand. I will always have a place for you in my heart somewhere, just not as big as it used to be. There are other fish in the sea and it’s time I found them. That’s all I want to say </3 </3 </3 </3 </3 </3
To the Love of My Life 5
November 21, 2010
To the love of my life,
I’m through. I can’t take this anymore. If you’re too oblivious to realize I like you, then I don’t think I’ll be able to handle a relationship with you. And if my friends seriously have to tell you to ask me out then forget it. I just don’t know how to feel anymore: hurt, rejected, disappointed, and mainly just crushed. First, you marry some random chick and then say you’re unconditionally in love with your best friend. Yeah I know you probably don’t love her that way, but it’s hard to tell with you. I mean, she’s my friend too so I get it, but still. It’s just, never mind, we’re through. I’m ending this before it even begins and goes horribly, horribly wrong. I still love being your friend, but at the rate we’re going, we’ll always just be FRIENDS. I can’t love you anymore. That’s all I want to say </3 </3 </3 </3 </3
To the Love of My Life 4
November 16, 2010
To the love of my life,
Why must you confuse me so much? First, you ask me out and then change your relationship status from single to: married to some random chick. If you don’t have feelings for me, tell me now so I can stop wasting my time at trying to make this work. Well at least your new profile pic doesn’t have any other girls in it. I’m kind of sad I’m no longer in it though. Well at least we’ll have new profile pics after Saturday and hopefully Sunday. That is if you even care to still, go or if you’re not "busy". If you don’t want to go then just say so. Don’t say maybe and then, last minute, say you’re too busy. What was the point of saying maybe if you knew you wouldn’t be able to go. Grr, you just really, erk me sometimes, and it’s really starting to piss me off. I hate that I love you, because I really want to be mad at you, but I can’t be. I still love you!! That’s all I want to say <3 <3 <3 <3
To the Love of My Life 3
November 11, 2010
To the love of my life,
Why do you ignore me? I text, you respond with two words. You may not be saying them literally but it the simple message "Yeah, haha" I read "I don’t feel like talking to you so stop bothering me." Yeah, two words say all that. The worst part, you do that when I text you, but then I post pictures up and you comment on almost all of them, make one your profile pic, and then like the rest. Like wtf?!?!? Stop leading me on if you’re not committed. And don’t like a status that you know is about you if you don’t want to put in the effort to make it work. I wouldn’t be complaining if I knew you didn’t care. So please stop tearing my heart in two. It’s almost at the irreversible breaking point. I still love you!! That’s all I want to say <3 <3 <3
To the Love of My Life 2
November 1, 2010
To the love of my life,
You make me laugh every time I’m with you. I love the way you hold me; and how you never seem to want to let me go. Even if you are a major flirt, there are times when you just want to have me to yourself and I love you for that. The subtle way you ask me out and the signals you send me whenever we’re together are perfect. Even when we’re in public, you try to make at least one moment a time for just us. When I see you, everything else falls away. When I’m with you, I feel as if I’ve drifted off to heaven. Nothing else matters as long as I’m in your arms. I feel safe and protected and loved when I’m with you. I cherish that feeling. I get butterflies at just the thought of you. If you knew how much you make my heart race, you would understand that I love you so much that it’s almost difficult for me to breath. Every touch, every look, every text message, every call, makes my heart race, my stomach jump, and my feelings for you increase. One day we will have one day all to ourselves and when that day comes, I will be the luckiest girl on earth because you will be mine and mine alone. I love you!! That’s all I want to say <3 <3
To The Love of My Life 1
September 19, 2010
To the love of my life,
I’ve liked you for a while now but I just can’t seem to tell you. I want to ask you if you’ll go out with me, but I’m trying to find a subtle way to do it. Maybe a trip to Magic Mountain, or the movies. I’ll be sure to ask you what kind of movies you like. I’m pretty, sure, being a guy, it’s gonna be some action or horror film, or maybe even a comedy. I absolutely love action movies, and chick flicks bore me unless they have a good plot line. I hate horror movies, but if I get scared I can just lean into you. I really wish I had the guts to just call you and ask if you want to go out. If my friend asks the guy she likes out or at least tells him she likes him, then I’ll tell you. I find it funny, because the guy she likes is your best friend. Wow, I actually feel relieved that I finally got this out. I mean my best friend knows, but we know everything about each other so she doesn’t really count. On the off chance that you read this, please don’t laugh. I know when you first see this; you’ll probably think its funny, but the truth is it’s about you. Yes you. You’ll probably ask me anyway who this is for, but by the time you find this, I’ll have the courage to tell you the truth. It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I’ll just be happy that at least I tried. I love you!! That’s all I want to say <3 about the blog overload
sorry for all the random blogs. i've been trying to transfer al of my Tumblr post to blogspot. i'm almost done. and then after that i have one more thing to tell you guys. oh and by the way my isolation blog and battling my demons blogs were my most reason so i'm gonna repost those later so they're at the top
Yeah so a little update
Hey guys. Okay so remember that guy i’ve been talking about. The one who reminds me of Jacob. yeah he’s a huuuuuuuge flirt but I still love him. I spent most of the night either in his lap or in his arms. With a 15min hug to end it all!! Now that’s what i call a Halloween party. especially the way I was dressed. Oh yeah, that was some gooooood fun. Well before i start remembering this night in my head and going off on a love sick tangent, i will end my post here. But i just wanted to let you all know that we’re “-” close to going on an actual date, just the two of us!! <3 <3 <3 I’m off to talk to him! TTFN *I miss Tigger*
*greenswimgirl14*
Just a little tidbit
hey guys so my School blog is up!!! Oh and I gave up on my bahamas blog. oh and BTW; the guy from my first blog came back for a visit, still cute but i’m over it. The second guy i liked is a total douche like most guys. My two new guys one of them is like my older bor but i still like him. he’s really nice, but i think i truly only like him like a brother. The second guy is absolutely perfect. great body, sweet, makes me laugh, great texter, on the football team, and has a wickedly crazy 5yr old inside ( i can tell) he likes to play A LOT!!!! :D well TTFN *I miss Tigger*
*greenswimgirl14*
umm...Hi
So I've finally made a blogspot. I have no clue how to work this thing. And it doesn't have as many cool functions as Tumblr, but I'll manage. So this is going to become like my second diary since Tumblr is my first. I have friends on both sites so whatever goes on Tumblr will also go on here. Even if this site is a little confusing. Tumblr is kind of like my online diary that’s open to the public and I sure as hell treat it like a diary. So now blogspot will be just like that. I put maybe about two entires in my diary before I get bored with it easily. I guess life has just become more entertaining.
Actually my BFFLEIWKEO, Sonia, and I were talking about life getting exciting. we used to live in our own little sub-world to get away from the boringness that surrounded us. We always say now, how we’ve fallen out of the fandom. The manga’s we used to read have just gone dull. We both agree that it has to do with the enlargement of our group. what used to be a group of 8 girls, already big from the beginning, is now a group of 4 girls, another group of three girls and two guys, ANOTHER group of seven guys, another group of four girls and then random people who join on certain days. That’s a total of 20 people all in one group. We’ve grown by 12 people.
I was actually excited for our group to grow. A group of just girls gets booring after awhile. Adding a bunch of guys to our group was fun. However, with all of the new people came entirely too much drama. lt’s just say people started dating each other, there were brutal break-ups, awkward post-break- ups, and a lot of enemies made. I wanted more friends, less drama. And i got more friends, MORE drama. I took drama freshamn year, i was through with it then. I didn’t want it in my group of friends too. grrrrr
the onl good thing about this little situation is, more parties, which means meeting even more people and reuniting with old onea. Which is what brings us to our next subject. After going to one of my guy friend’s parties, i met one of my old friends. We talked and dnaced all night. Hes really fun, really nice and WARMMMMMMM. Sorry Jacob fangirl moment there. But literally, he reminds me of Jacob. Except I don’t have an Edward who broke my heart, so i would totally choose my Jacob. He invited me to his party and I realized I liked him even more. I think he knows, but I can never be sure. They say girls are confusing. PLEASE. guys have like no emotions, the’re the hardest people to read. It makes it even harder when he’s a flirt. Cuz then i don’t know if he’s actually hitting on me, or just flirting. I mean he’s only been in one relationship it seems like, so i know he’s loyal, but still.
Oh well, I guess I’ll find out at his Homecoming. and if he comes to mine, then i’ll find out then too. Wow, I’m surprised I had that much to type. See what happens when I’m gone too long. I spill my heart out and then a day later I have more to say, but I don’t feel like going on the computer. well i guess I’ll post sometime in the near future haha. I’m off to search! TTFN *I miss Tigger*
Actually my BFFLEIWKEO, Sonia, and I were talking about life getting exciting. we used to live in our own little sub-world to get away from the boringness that surrounded us. We always say now, how we’ve fallen out of the fandom. The manga’s we used to read have just gone dull. We both agree that it has to do with the enlargement of our group. what used to be a group of 8 girls, already big from the beginning, is now a group of 4 girls, another group of three girls and two guys, ANOTHER group of seven guys, another group of four girls and then random people who join on certain days. That’s a total of 20 people all in one group. We’ve grown by 12 people.
I was actually excited for our group to grow. A group of just girls gets booring after awhile. Adding a bunch of guys to our group was fun. However, with all of the new people came entirely too much drama. lt’s just say people started dating each other, there were brutal break-ups, awkward post-break- ups, and a lot of enemies made. I wanted more friends, less drama. And i got more friends, MORE drama. I took drama freshamn year, i was through with it then. I didn’t want it in my group of friends too. grrrrr
the onl good thing about this little situation is, more parties, which means meeting even more people and reuniting with old onea. Which is what brings us to our next subject. After going to one of my guy friend’s parties, i met one of my old friends. We talked and dnaced all night. Hes really fun, really nice and WARMMMMMMM. Sorry Jacob fangirl moment there. But literally, he reminds me of Jacob. Except I don’t have an Edward who broke my heart, so i would totally choose my Jacob. He invited me to his party and I realized I liked him even more. I think he knows, but I can never be sure. They say girls are confusing. PLEASE. guys have like no emotions, the’re the hardest people to read. It makes it even harder when he’s a flirt. Cuz then i don’t know if he’s actually hitting on me, or just flirting. I mean he’s only been in one relationship it seems like, so i know he’s loyal, but still.
Oh well, I guess I’ll find out at his Homecoming. and if he comes to mine, then i’ll find out then too. Wow, I’m surprised I had that much to type. See what happens when I’m gone too long. I spill my heart out and then a day later I have more to say, but I don’t feel like going on the computer. well i guess I’ll post sometime in the near future haha. I’m off to search! TTFN *I miss Tigger*
*greenswimgirl14*
My Whole Life: Part 2
Sorry it took me so long to update. A lot has been going on with the vacation, and all the planning with my friends. I know someone Formspringed me asking why I never went on Tumblr anymore. I was still writing so I couldn’t really post anything up.
It’s part 2 of my life. So I think for today I’ll discuss my friends and how they’ve affected my life. In my last post, I talked about my boy troubles and the guys in my life. I was talking to my best friend Sonii on Wed. and we were talking about my new Tumblr and what I had written so far. She pointed out to me that one of the guys I talked about, I hadn’t really told my friends I liked. At first I thought, “Oh great now I have to change it”, but then I thought a little more; this is technically the break down of my life. He’s gone for awhile so it’s okay for me to talk about him; especially since I don’t even like him anymore. Plus, only three of my friends know I have a Tumblr, for right now, and two of them don’t even know who I’m talking about. I say ‘for right now’ because I kind of posted that I have a Tumblr on Facebook. But oh well, I’m not ashamed of anything I say. It used to be a secret but if I keep all of thisbottled up, I’ll never feel happy, so it’s time to let it all go. So to all my friends out there, “Yes I used to have a crush on Chris!” so what, I know a few of you did too.
Now that I’m done with that little recap, I’ll start my actual blog. I think I’ll do that on most of my post now. The first paragraph of every post will be a sum up of the previous post. I’ve also decided to post these once or twice a week. It’s summer so I have a lot of time to post. Hopefully by the end of summer, I’ll be done with everything that’s happened in my life so far. Anyways, moving on; my friends are my life. I mean I love my parents, but my entire life revolves around being social and connected with people. I absolutely love my friends and they each mean something special to me.
I think I’ll put up a little tidbit about each of them, starting with my best friend since last year. Haha
Sonii: Sonia Aghoian is my bestest friend. We met last year well, two years ago. Freshman year to be exact, second semester. We didn’t really talk that much until the summer before tenth grade. We always used to ask each other how we became friends and why we’ve been best friends for so long. She finally figured it out. She had called me two years ago because everyone else was busy and I just happened to pick up the phone. We talked forever that day. I think that was the most had ever talked to someone on the phone. I’m not a phone person so it was really, awkward for me, but she didn’t have texting at the time so I understood the dilemma. We figured out that the reason we stayed best friends, is because we have so much dirt on each other, that if we ever got into a fight, we would ruin each others lives. Plus I think we would die if we ever separated now. She’s like my long lost sister. She’s the closest thing I’ve had to an ultimate best friend and I’m surprised we’ve stayed this close, for this long. We’ve created alternate personalities for ourselves, which help us, in my opinion, keep a strong hold on reality. If we didn’t have Sonii& Khy, I think we would have lost it years ago haha.
Meagan Fox: Also known as Vargasm, Ashells, Chipmunk, and a whole bunch of other silly nicknames. I’ve known Ashley Vargas the third longest out of all my friends. We’ve known each other since the sixth grade because our moms used to talk a lot. She used to be my texting buddy throughout middle school. Plus she gave me rides to Beckford from Nobel. I think we grew closer because of that. Ashley is crazy fun and loves to mess around. We call her a chipmunk because of her cute little cheeks, but sometimes I think it’s also because of how hyperactive she acts. :D She’s been through a lot in her life. Probably much more than me, but out of all of our friends, she seems to be the happiest. I think it’s because she knows she can always count on us if something gets really, bad. She’s always got a warm shelter waiting for her when she’s with us. She’s the third oldest of all of us but she’s like the baby of the group. We protect her, even if she doesn’t need it. Ashley’s a strong willed girl who can most definitely hold her own, but we’re there when she needs us. I Love you Ash.
Momma Dormouse: Naomi Weisz is our mother. She’s the mother of Ashley and I and the wife of Amanda. I’ve known Naomi the second longest. Our moms used to work together so we always saw each other around Beckford. I think we got closer because of Ashley. Naomi has a lot of nicknames as well, but they all convey the same message, she’s our leader who makes sure everything is in order. She’s our mom, our “fake” Mafia Leader lol, and overall our safe haven. I’m pretty, sure we’ve all gone to Naomi for help or advice or just a warm hug. Naomi gives off that welcoming vibe that absolutely no one can resist. She’s definitely a friend that I will keep in my life for years to come.
Panda: Amanda Petty is the crazy aunt that everybody wants in their family. She’s as crazy as Ashley when they’re together but she can be as quiet as Naomi when she’s alone. I met Amanda in eighth grade English. I found out later that she knew Naomi and Ashley. It seems like Ashley brought our entire group together. Amanda is our outdoor friend. She loves hiding in trees and just being outside in general. She’s also our most religious friend. She loves going to church and loves hanging out with all of her church friends. She’s quirky and sophisticated at the same time but we love her anyways. She wants to be a photographer, however, the camera loves her when she’s in front of it too.
Sea Monkey: Kelsi Ramirez is our party girl. If you get her and Ashley together, who knows what could happen. She absolutely LOVES boys and her and Ashley are always fighting over Kellan Lutz or Channing Tatum. I’ve known Kelsi since sixth grade. We were in the same Math, Science, English, and History class. My first memory of Kelsi was on our first day of middle school and she ended up in my homeroom. But, it turns out she was in the wrong homeroom. I didn’t remember that that was her until she reminded me later on. Going anywhere with Kelsi is a blast. She turns anything into something fun. Especially when we’re all tired and insane. “I was in the kitchen?” Or my favorite, “This is Potato Salad…I thought it was Macaroni!” Our favorite jokes among our friends, come from staying up late till 3in the morning on empty stomachs and sleep deprivation. Good times, good times hahaha.
Vi of the Tan: Tanvi Gupta is our dancer. I’ve known Tanvi since he sixth grade. We used to be best friends until eighth grade grad night. We got into a little disagreement over who had found where the food court was at Magical Mountain. I had been to Six Flags the Sat. before grad night, so I remembered where everything was. It was around 9:00pm so it was dark and our group was hungry. I was leading us all to the food court but my Tanvi, Elahe, and Pooja insisted we get a map. So we stopped at a nearby gift shop to pick up a map, which no one could read because it was dark out. So while Tanvi and the other stood under a walkway lamp, I kept walking. I found the food court about 20 steps away from where we were. It was literally around the corner. I walked back to the group who was still lost on where we were. I told them the food court was right around the corner, but Tanvi insisted that she had lead everyone there. We got into an argument and she started “fake crying”. Elahe and Pooja sympathized with her while our other friend Carole just stood there not knowing what to do. Tanvi walked away with Pooja, Elaha looked back at me and then followed. Carole followed them, and they left me there in the middle of Magic Mountain with no one. Luckily Carlos Gonzalez, my friend from homeroom and a close friend of Ashley’s showed up. Apparently he had just gotten off of Tatsu, so he found me and we hung out for the rest of the night. I also lucked out because my mom and my sixth grade English teacher were chaperoning the event. Carlos and I ate, and then found them. So I got to ride all of he big rides unlike Tanvi and Co. who rode the baby rides because Elahe and Pooja were scared of roller coasters. I had a blast, but that was the end of Tanvi and I’s friendship. I sat alone at lunch until I ended up sitting with my T.A teacher Mrs. Bolden. It was the worst last two weeks of middle school, but I made the best of them. I never told anyone what happened and I moved on with my life. Pooja started calling my cell restricted just to leave me hate voicemail. She would call me a bitch and a slut and tell me I wasn’t pretty. I knew Tanvi was directed her, because Pooja didn’t have a mind of her own to do this alone. She called me a liar for saying I didn’t go to Granada, but I had never said I got into Granada first. Yes, I had gone to Cleveland and then transferred. That’s another reason I knew Tanvi was directing her. As soon as Tanvi had seen me at Granada, I got a call from Pooja two days later saying hi and how have you been. The same girl who had been calling me a bitch was now trying to act friendly. Tanvi ignored me for the first week of my school year and I think she thinks I’m cool with her now. I still hate her, but I’ve moved on. She looks at my mom anytime she’s over, because she knows what she did was wrong. My mom says she looks at her like she’s scared of my mom. I find it quite funny, but moving on from Tanvi and her deceitful ways my next friend is….
Sarah: I need a nickname for Sarah Chung. I’ve known Sarah the longest out of any of my friends. We’ve been friends since the second and first grade. Sarah is a year younger than me but we’re still close. I invite her to all my parties. We used to be neighbors, so we hung our A LOT. When I moved, we stopped talking to each other as frequently. I talk to her from time to time, but it’s only if one of our birthdays has come up. That reminds me, I still need to give her her fifteenth birthday present. At least, I think I haven’t given it to her yet…See that’s just sad that I can’t remember anymore. That’s how long it’s been since we’ve talked. But even with our communicationless friendship lol, I hope we stay friends for a very, long time. Have fun in tenth grade Sarah.
It’s part 2 of my life. So I think for today I’ll discuss my friends and how they’ve affected my life. In my last post, I talked about my boy troubles and the guys in my life. I was talking to my best friend Sonii on Wed. and we were talking about my new Tumblr and what I had written so far. She pointed out to me that one of the guys I talked about, I hadn’t really told my friends I liked. At first I thought, “Oh great now I have to change it”, but then I thought a little more; this is technically the break down of my life. He’s gone for awhile so it’s okay for me to talk about him; especially since I don’t even like him anymore. Plus, only three of my friends know I have a Tumblr, for right now, and two of them don’t even know who I’m talking about. I say ‘for right now’ because I kind of posted that I have a Tumblr on Facebook. But oh well, I’m not ashamed of anything I say. It used to be a secret but if I keep all of thisbottled up, I’ll never feel happy, so it’s time to let it all go. So to all my friends out there, “Yes I used to have a crush on Chris!” so what, I know a few of you did too.
Now that I’m done with that little recap, I’ll start my actual blog. I think I’ll do that on most of my post now. The first paragraph of every post will be a sum up of the previous post. I’ve also decided to post these once or twice a week. It’s summer so I have a lot of time to post. Hopefully by the end of summer, I’ll be done with everything that’s happened in my life so far. Anyways, moving on; my friends are my life. I mean I love my parents, but my entire life revolves around being social and connected with people. I absolutely love my friends and they each mean something special to me.
I think I’ll put up a little tidbit about each of them, starting with my best friend since last year. Haha
Sonii: Sonia Aghoian is my bestest friend. We met last year well, two years ago. Freshman year to be exact, second semester. We didn’t really talk that much until the summer before tenth grade. We always used to ask each other how we became friends and why we’ve been best friends for so long. She finally figured it out. She had called me two years ago because everyone else was busy and I just happened to pick up the phone. We talked forever that day. I think that was the most had ever talked to someone on the phone. I’m not a phone person so it was really, awkward for me, but she didn’t have texting at the time so I understood the dilemma. We figured out that the reason we stayed best friends, is because we have so much dirt on each other, that if we ever got into a fight, we would ruin each others lives. Plus I think we would die if we ever separated now. She’s like my long lost sister. She’s the closest thing I’ve had to an ultimate best friend and I’m surprised we’ve stayed this close, for this long. We’ve created alternate personalities for ourselves, which help us, in my opinion, keep a strong hold on reality. If we didn’t have Sonii& Khy, I think we would have lost it years ago haha.Meagan Fox: Also known as Vargasm, Ashells, Chipmunk, and a whole bunch of other silly nicknames. I’ve known Ashley Vargas the third longest out of all my friends. We’ve known each other since the sixth grade because our moms used to talk a lot. She used to be my texting buddy throughout middle school. Plus she gave me rides to Beckford from Nobel. I think we grew closer because of that. Ashley is crazy fun and loves to mess around. We call her a chipmunk because of her cute little cheeks, but sometimes I think it’s also because of how hyperactive she acts. :D She’s been through a lot in her life. Probably much more than me, but out of all of our friends, she seems to be the happiest. I think it’s because she knows she can always count on us if something gets really, bad. She’s always got a warm shelter waiting for her when she’s with us. She’s the third oldest of all of us but she’s like the baby of the group. We protect her, even if she doesn’t need it. Ashley’s a strong willed girl who can most definitely hold her own, but we’re there when she needs us. I Love you Ash.Momma Dormouse: Naomi Weisz is our mother. She’s the mother of Ashley and I and the wife of Amanda. I’ve known Naomi the second longest. Our moms used to work together so we always saw each other around Beckford. I think we got closer because of Ashley. Naomi has a lot of nicknames as well, but they all convey the same message, she’s our leader who makes sure everything is in order. She’s our mom, our “fake” Mafia Leader lol, and overall our safe haven. I’m pretty, sure we’ve all gone to Naomi for help or advice or just a warm hug. Naomi gives off that welcoming vibe that absolutely no one can resist. She’s definitely a friend that I will keep in my life for years to come.Panda: Amanda Petty is the crazy aunt that everybody wants in their family. She’s as crazy as Ashley when they’re together but she can be as quiet as Naomi when she’s alone. I met Amanda in eighth grade English. I found out later that she knew Naomi and Ashley. It seems like Ashley brought our entire group together. Amanda is our outdoor friend. She loves hiding in trees and just being outside in general. She’s also our most religious friend. She loves going to church and loves hanging out with all of her church friends. She’s quirky and sophisticated at the same time but we love her anyways. She wants to be a photographer, however, the camera loves her when she’s in front of it too.Sea Monkey: Kelsi Ramirez is our party girl. If you get her and Ashley together, who knows what could happen. She absolutely LOVES boys and her and Ashley are always fighting over Kellan Lutz or Channing Tatum. I’ve known Kelsi since sixth grade. We were in the same Math, Science, English, and History class. My first memory of Kelsi was on our first day of middle school and she ended up in my homeroom. But, it turns out she was in the wrong homeroom. I didn’t remember that that was her until she reminded me later on. Going anywhere with Kelsi is a blast. She turns anything into something fun. Especially when we’re all tired and insane. “I was in the kitchen?” Or my favorite, “This is Potato Salad…I thought it was Macaroni!” Our favorite jokes among our friends, come from staying up late till 3in the morning on empty stomachs and sleep deprivation. Good times, good times hahaha.Vi of the Tan: Tanvi Gupta is our dancer. I’ve known Tanvi since he sixth grade. We used to be best friends until eighth grade grad night. We got into a little disagreement over who had found where the food court was at Magical Mountain. I had been to Six Flags the Sat. before grad night, so I remembered where everything was. It was around 9:00pm so it was dark and our group was hungry. I was leading us all to the food court but my Tanvi, Elahe, and Pooja insisted we get a map. So we stopped at a nearby gift shop to pick up a map, which no one could read because it was dark out. So while Tanvi and the other stood under a walkway lamp, I kept walking. I found the food court about 20 steps away from where we were. It was literally around the corner. I walked back to the group who was still lost on where we were. I told them the food court was right around the corner, but Tanvi insisted that she had lead everyone there. We got into an argument and she started “fake crying”. Elahe and Pooja sympathized with her while our other friend Carole just stood there not knowing what to do. Tanvi walked away with Pooja, Elaha looked back at me and then followed. Carole followed them, and they left me there in the middle of Magic Mountain with no one. Luckily Carlos Gonzalez, my friend from homeroom and a close friend of Ashley’s showed up. Apparently he had just gotten off of Tatsu, so he found me and we hung out for the rest of the night. I also lucked out because my mom and my sixth grade English teacher were chaperoning the event. Carlos and I ate, and then found them. So I got to ride all of he big rides unlike Tanvi and Co. who rode the baby rides because Elahe and Pooja were scared of roller coasters. I had a blast, but that was the end of Tanvi and I’s friendship. I sat alone at lunch until I ended up sitting with my T.A teacher Mrs. Bolden. It was the worst last two weeks of middle school, but I made the best of them. I never told anyone what happened and I moved on with my life. Pooja started calling my cell restricted just to leave me hate voicemail. She would call me a bitch and a slut and tell me I wasn’t pretty. I knew Tanvi was directed her, because Pooja didn’t have a mind of her own to do this alone. She called me a liar for saying I didn’t go to Granada, but I had never said I got into Granada first. Yes, I had gone to Cleveland and then transferred. That’s another reason I knew Tanvi was directing her. As soon as Tanvi had seen me at Granada, I got a call from Pooja two days later saying hi and how have you been. The same girl who had been calling me a bitch was now trying to act friendly. Tanvi ignored me for the first week of my school year and I think she thinks I’m cool with her now. I still hate her, but I’ve moved on. She looks at my mom anytime she’s over, because she knows what she did was wrong. My mom says she looks at her like she’s scared of my mom. I find it quite funny, but moving on from Tanvi and her deceitful ways my next friend is….Sarah: I need a nickname for Sarah Chung. I’ve known Sarah the longest out of any of my friends. We’ve been friends since the second and first grade. Sarah is a year younger than me but we’re still close. I invite her to all my parties. We used to be neighbors, so we hung our A LOT. When I moved, we stopped talking to each other as frequently. I talk to her from time to time, but it’s only if one of our birthdays has come up. That reminds me, I still need to give her her fifteenth birthday present. At least, I think I haven’t given it to her yet…See that’s just sad that I can’t remember anymore. That’s how long it’s been since we’ve talked. But even with our communicationless friendship lol, I hope we stay friends for a very, long time. Have fun in tenth grade Sarah. Okay, I think that’s it on my friends. Tanvi’s was the longest. I’m so happy I finally got that off my chest. Even if no one reads it, I finally said it out-loud. I’ve never told anyone that story except Sonia, and she doesn’t even know the full story. Well, I’m going to wrap this one up quickly because I wanna start my Bahamas story. I took my vacation almost three weeks ago and I still haven’t written about how it went yet. I’ll talk to you guys later. Oh and btw, both Sarah and Ashley have Tumblr so add them. They have really, interesting stories that I think anyone would love to here. Also I have a formspring if anyone wants to ask me something, I could really use the questions right about now. It’s greenswimgirl14@formspring.me, or at least I think that’s the url. All I know, is my username is greenswimgirl14. Just go to formspring and look for me. My name is under Khy. My next blog should be up by the end of next week, and then I’ll probably also post one about all of the plans I made with my friends. Ice Skating next Wednesday, party on Friday, then sleepover that same day I’ve got registration for 11th grade this Friday. I can’t believe I’m finally a Junior. Now I’m off to write! TTFN *I miss Tigger*
*greenswimgirl14*
My Whole Life : Part 1
Wow, well that took years. Nah just kidding, but it did take a long time for me to find a theme for my blog. I never knew how difficult it was to start a blog. It took me at least thirty minutes to find the perfect theme. I always like to choose a theme that I think matches my personality. I wanted something fun, with also a hint of rebellion. I didn’t want to opt for the full on neon colors theme but I also didn’t want any skulls and cross bones either. I settled for this one, and I think it’s a pretty, good match for the time being. Okay, now to really, begin.
I’ve wanted to start a blog for years; but first off, I didn’t know where to start, and second, I didn’t know what to write. It’s actually shocking to me now though. Even if I have only experienced sixteen years of life so far, I feel as though I’ve lived a lifetime. With all that’s happened in my life, I feel like I could write a book write now. I’m not trying to brag and say my life is perfect, because let’s face it, who’s is? However, I do feel like I’ve had a lot of ups and downs and it’s sad, because this is only the beginning of my life. I’m the kind of girl who always wanted her life to be just like all the books I used to scour over and practically live by. I wanted my knight in shining armor to find me, just like all the girls I envied in the books. I realized a little too late, that if I wanted a prince charming, I should have made a lot of guy friends when I was younger.
I always did go for the rebellious type, the bad boy, who had a sensitive side. Like this:
<——- Now that’s hot. There were more pictures, but I liked him because he had blue eyes. Anyways, moving on from my fantasies. Ah yes, we were at the subject of how I pictured my life. So, I was hoping that I would end up falling in love by the beginning of high school, but that didn’t work out so well. I mean I’m already going into my third year of high school and still no boyfriend. Then I look at my friends who have already gone through at least two boyfriends already. One of which is already on her third. And don’t get me wrong they both look absolutely, adorable with their new beaus, but I want one too.
But enough of my ranting, onto a new subject. That was just one of the many problems in my continuous life. Let’s take for example, the fact that I don’t have many guy friends. I admit I was never really, that popular when I was younger.
I envied that as well, about the girls in my books. I wasn’t popular which meant that I didn’t have many guy friends…scratch that, I didn’t have any guy friends. I mean I knew a lot of guys, but they weren’t really my friends. They were more like acquaintances.
So I pretty much went through life without guys. But, when I was younger, i didn’t really care. It’s when I got to middle school and I finally realized that boys were importnat, that I started to care….
I’ll finish this tomorrow when I wake up because it’s getting really late. So gd’night
Okay I’m back. So as I was saying, we were on the subject of boys in my life. By the time I got to high school, I had a real problem. I didn’t talk to many guys and most of my friends were girls. That wasn’t a big problem considering the fact that I was a girl, however, I knew maybe about two guys and that was the major problem. I started to realize how much of a dilemma I was in, so I strategized. I talked to more boys, sat next to guys, and tried to put my self in more groups with guys. I even went to the football games with my friends, hoping that would get me into the “in” crowds. Nothing prevailed and I lost hope. I mean, I did make a few new guy friends, but they were all duds. Cute and sweet, but not exactly, what I was looking for. Then I met him…He was tall, cute, devilish smile, hung out with my group of friends a lot, and totally, rebellious. He needed looking after, and I was willing to provide that for him. Heck, I was willing to provide anything for him.
It’s funny though because when I first met him, we didn’t get along. All of my friends thought he was a little creepy, because he followed us around everywhere. I just followed my friends’ opinions, without making my own judgment of him. He seemed decent enough in my opinion. He left for a few months and I though I’d never see him again. But he returned at the end of the school year and my heart did a few leaps. He was absolutely, perfect again. That opinion changed by the fall of tenth grade. He had completely gone to the dark side. He was skinny jeans, flannel shirt, minus the flippy skater hair status. He had become the ultimate “poser”; however, I kind of liked it. But once again I went with my friends’ opinions and mocked him about his new look.
Although I found it cute and slightly sexy, I sided with my friends and called him a poser and a fish and anything else we came up with. He was perfect in my eyes…that is, until he started his “habits”. First, it started with ditching school, and then we learned he had been hanging out with some girl. I wanted to kill him, how dare he miss school for stupid whore. Of course, he got mad when we called him out on it. He claimed that he had ‘just wanted to show her how much he cared for her’. Here’s the exact conversation he had with one of my friends.
I’ve wanted to start a blog for years; but first off, I didn’t know where to start, and second, I didn’t know what to write. It’s actually shocking to me now though. Even if I have only experienced sixteen years of life so far, I feel as though I’ve lived a lifetime. With all that’s happened in my life, I feel like I could write a book write now. I’m not trying to brag and say my life is perfect, because let’s face it, who’s is? However, I do feel like I’ve had a lot of ups and downs and it’s sad, because this is only the beginning of my life. I’m the kind of girl who always wanted her life to be just like all the books I used to scour over and practically live by. I wanted my knight in shining armor to find me, just like all the girls I envied in the books. I realized a little too late, that if I wanted a prince charming, I should have made a lot of guy friends when I was younger.
I always did go for the rebellious type, the bad boy, who had a sensitive side. Like this:
<——- Now that’s hot. There were more pictures, but I liked him because he had blue eyes. Anyways, moving on from my fantasies. Ah yes, we were at the subject of how I pictured my life. So, I was hoping that I would end up falling in love by the beginning of high school, but that didn’t work out so well. I mean I’m already going into my third year of high school and still no boyfriend. Then I look at my friends who have already gone through at least two boyfriends already. One of which is already on her third. And don’t get me wrong they both look absolutely, adorable with their new beaus, but I want one too. But enough of my ranting, onto a new subject. That was just one of the many problems in my continuous life. Let’s take for example, the fact that I don’t have many guy friends. I admit I was never really, that popular when I was younger.
I envied that as well, about the girls in my books. I wasn’t popular which meant that I didn’t have many guy friends…scratch that, I didn’t have any guy friends. I mean I knew a lot of guys, but they weren’t really my friends. They were more like acquaintances. So I pretty much went through life without guys. But, when I was younger, i didn’t really care. It’s when I got to middle school and I finally realized that boys were importnat, that I started to care….
I’ll finish this tomorrow when I wake up because it’s getting really late. So gd’night
Okay I’m back. So as I was saying, we were on the subject of boys in my life. By the time I got to high school, I had a real problem. I didn’t talk to many guys and most of my friends were girls. That wasn’t a big problem considering the fact that I was a girl, however, I knew maybe about two guys and that was the major problem. I started to realize how much of a dilemma I was in, so I strategized. I talked to more boys, sat next to guys, and tried to put my self in more groups with guys. I even went to the football games with my friends, hoping that would get me into the “in” crowds. Nothing prevailed and I lost hope. I mean, I did make a few new guy friends, but they were all duds. Cute and sweet, but not exactly, what I was looking for. Then I met him…He was tall, cute, devilish smile, hung out with my group of friends a lot, and totally, rebellious. He needed looking after, and I was willing to provide that for him. Heck, I was willing to provide anything for him.
It’s funny though because when I first met him, we didn’t get along. All of my friends thought he was a little creepy, because he followed us around everywhere. I just followed my friends’ opinions, without making my own judgment of him. He seemed decent enough in my opinion. He left for a few months and I though I’d never see him again. But he returned at the end of the school year and my heart did a few leaps. He was absolutely, perfect again. That opinion changed by the fall of tenth grade. He had completely gone to the dark side. He was skinny jeans, flannel shirt, minus the flippy skater hair status. He had become the ultimate “poser”; however, I kind of liked it. But once again I went with my friends’ opinions and mocked him about his new look.
Although I found it cute and slightly sexy, I sided with my friends and called him a poser and a fish and anything else we came up with. He was perfect in my eyes…that is, until he started his “habits”. First, it started with ditching school, and then we learned he had been hanging out with some girl. I wanted to kill him, how dare he miss school for stupid whore. Of course, he got mad when we called him out on it. He claimed that he had ‘just wanted to show her how much he cared for her’. Here’s the exact conversation he had with one of my friends.
Friend: Well no one saw you for days and we thought you got in trouble….. As in, you’re out of the school
Poser: Nope. Trust me that is not going to happen to me. And I’ve been busy with some girls and being out on the street
Friend: Yeah. That’s basically you not in school and we all think your new making money idea will be to become a pimp.
Poser: Nope. I won’t have to do that because I have money it’s just that my parents took it away.
Friend: Yeah but no one’s seen you in school so your not going?
Poser: Ah cause I’m sort of ditching to spend time with this one girl at her house alone.
Friend: That’s smart. Not going to school so you can drop fail and repeat 10th grade
Poser: No, I just want to show how much I care for her
See how stupid he had become? But that was just the beginning. It started with the ditching, and then he decided to come back to school. We were all relieved, and then he had to go and screw it up again. He though it would be funny if he came to school drunk and then after that he got tired of “coming to school” like that. He decided it was even better if he got drunk at school! Then he started hi-jacking cop cars. He jumped the fence and hotwired a cop car outside of our school. Then somehow, he ended up with the keys to the car. It just became really, ridiculous. Soon after that, he dropped out of school again. His mom, worried for his safety, called the police and they put him on house arrest, but that didn’t stop him. He got out of the bracelet and ran away. Somehow, he ended up in a rehab center for children like him, somewhere in Utah. When I heard he had disappeared, I cried for days. My friend had to keep me updated on anything about him. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest, and he didn’t even know what pain he had caused.
I went on like that for a few months. Then homecoming came along, and my heart was restored. That is until I realized the guy I was now crushing on, was a major playboy. But I figured that out a few months ago. As in, May-ish and homecoming was in November. But at least I had been restored enough to carry on with my life. I just wish my badboy could have been in own for my birthday. The playboy came, but he was so rude that he left without saying bye. He didn’t even apologize the next day. But enough about him, I think this concluded my boys portion of my life. Hahaha so until my next blog, you guys will just have to wait and see what I dish out next.
This blogging stuff is actually pretty, fun. I feel like a weight has been lifted from me. I can express everything I’m feeling here and I won’t get yelled at it. I can blog from wherever and whenever I feel like. My next blog should be up by the end of this week, and then I’ll probably also post one from the Bahamas. Now I’m off to read! TTFN *I miss Tigger*
*greenswimgirl14*
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